Transcript:
ANNOUNNCER: “And now, part 4 of Katie Couric’s
interview with the Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin”
(Crowd Cheering)
POEHLER AS COURIC: “Governor Palin, Thank you
for agreeing to talk with me one more time.”
FEY AS PALIN: “Oh, hey, you know, sure.”
(laughter)
POEHLER AS COURIC: “Did you enjoy your week in
New York City?”
FEY AS PALIN: “You know, I did Katie. I wasn’t
sure I would at first. You know New York is home
to the Liberal Media Elite, but Todd and the
kids had a great time going to the Central Park,
and the FAO Schwarz, and that goofy evolution
museum.”
(laughter)
POEHLER AS COURIC: “So it sounds like the trip
was a success?”
FEY AS PALIN: “Well, there were some funny
moments. For instance, I had 15-20 false alarms,
where I thought I saw Osama Bin Laden drivin’ a
taxi.”
(laughter)
FEY AS PALIN: “I was embarrassed to be wrong,
but mostly disappointed I wasn’t right.”
Also, in an effort to bone up on foreign policy,
I went to the Times Square Area to see a film
called the Bush Doctrine. It was not about
politics.”
(laughter)
POEHLER AS COURIC: “You went to the UN for the
first time. How was that experience?”
FEY AS PALIN: “Oh, you know, it was just
amazing, so many interesting people - though I
have to say I was disheartened by how many of
them were foreigners.”
(laughter)
I promise that when Senator McCain and I are
Elected, we’re gonna get those jobs back in
American hands.”
(laughter)
POEHLER AS COURIC: “How did the world leaders
you met with react to you?”
FEY AS PALIN: “They embraced me, both
figuratively, and a couple of those Pakistani
guys literally.
But they were all so welcoming, from ? the
president of Afghanistan, Jilaal Talabani, the
president of Iraq, or Bono, the king of
Ireland.”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “On foreign policy, I want to
give you one more chance to explain your claim
that you have foreign policy experience based on
Alaska’s proximity to Russia. What did you mean
by that?”
FEY AS PALIN: “Well, Alaska and Russia are only
separated by a narrow maritime border. (using
her hands to illustrate) You got Alaska here,
this right here is water, and this is Russia.
So, we keep an eye on them.”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “And how do you do that
exactly?”
FEY AS PALIN: “Well, Alaska and Russia are only
separated by a narrow maritime border. (using
her hands to illustrate) You got Alaska here,
this right here is water, and this is Russia.
So, we keep an eye on them.”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “And how do you do that
exactly?”
FEY AS PALIN: “Every morning, when Alaskans wake
up, one of the first things they do, is look
outside to see if there are any Russians hanging
around. And if there are, you gotta go up to
them and ask, ‘What are you doing here?’ and if
they can’t give you a good reason, it’s our
responsibility to say, you know, ‘Shoo! Get back
over there!’
POEHLER AS COURIC: “Senator McCain attempted to
shut down his political campaign this week in
order to deal with the economic crisis. What’s
your opinion of this potential 700 billion
dollar bailout?”
FEY AS PALIN: “Like every American I’m speaking
with, we’re ill about this. We’re saying, ‘Hey,
why bail out Fanny and Freddie and not me?’ But
ultimately what the bailout does is, help those
that are concerned about the healthcare reform
that is needed to help shore up our economy to
help…uh…it’s gotta be all about job
creation, too. Also, too, shoring up our economy
and putting Fannie and Freddy back on the right
track and so healthcare reform and reducing
taxes and reigning in spending…’cause Barack
Obama, y’know…has got to accompany tax
reductions and tax relief for Americans, also,
having a dollar value meal at restaurants.
That’s gonna help. But one in five jobs being
created today under the umbrella of job
creation. That, you know…Also…”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “What lessons have you
learned from Iraq and how specifically, would
you spread democracy abroad?”
FEY AS PALIN: “Specifically, we would make every
effort possible to spread democracy abroad to
those who want it.”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “Yes, but specifically what
would you do?”
FEY AS PALIN: “We’re gonna promote freedom.
Usher in democratic values and ideals. And fight
terror-loving terrorists.”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “But again, and not to
belabor the point. One specific thing.”
(several seconds of FEY and POEHLER staring at
each other)
FEY AS PALIN: “Katie, I’d like to use one of my
lifelines.”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “I’m sorry?”
FEY AS PALIN: “I want to phone a friend.”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “You don’t have any
lifelines.”
FEY AS PALIN: “Well in that case I’m gonna just
have to get back to you!”
POEHLER AS COURIC: “Forgive me, Mrs. Palin, but
it seems to me that when cornered, you become
increasingly adorable.
Is that fair to say?”
FEY AS PALIN: “I don’t know is it? (high pitched
gun sounds)”
(laughter)
POEHLER AS COURIC: “Governor Palin, is there
anything else you’d like to say, other than
“Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night”?
FEY AS PALIN: “Yes. Live from New York, it’s
Saturday Night!”
